


The Write Stuff

by MapleleafCameo



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, Humour, John's blog, Nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-07-10
Packaged: 2018-02-08 08:05:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1933239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MapleleafCameo/pseuds/MapleleafCameo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John wants to write more interesting blog entries. Jazz it up a little. Sherlock is not amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Write Stuff

**Author's Note:**

> I published this last year on ffnet for the fabulous TheGameMrsHudsonIsAfoot. Se drew the amazing picture found in chapter 5 of Private Universe - she is lovely & talented.  
> Thought I'd try it out here:)

_It was foggy in the city by the Thames._

_In fact you could say it was a foggy day in London town._

_It was the kind of fog that hid the dark and dirty souls who roamed the streets by night and day, in turmoil and pain, rough, harsh and in an unending loop of unfeeling…_

 

“John?”

 

_…remorselessness. Anguish and crime, vying side by side on the restless streets…_

 

“John?”

 

_I stood there in speechless amazement as the man I worked for, a hard-nosed gumshoe, a man driven by inner…_

 

“Oh for the love of…JOHN!”

 

“Hmmmm? Yes? What is it?”

 

“What on earth do you think you are doing? What is this…this…repellent drivel you are writing?”

 

“Don’t you like it?”

 

“Like it? Like it?! What have I ever said or done to you that would lead you to believe I would enjoy something like THAT!”

 

“Oh! Well I thought I’d try something, you know, different. I thought it might be fun to write up one of your cases like an old time detective novel, kind of homage to Mickey Spillane or Dashiell Hammett. It might attract more readers if I shake things up.”

 

A huff and a sigh contested for equal attention.

 

“John, if the unwashed masses, if those interested in your blog, all 1895 of your loyal readers, wanted to read lowbrow twaddle such as this, I am sure they could find better examples of it in the mystery section of a book store.”

 

The sound of soft taping could be heard as words were erased from the blog.

 

Silence descended upon the flat for a few moments.

 

The sound of feverish typing.

 

_Once upon a midnight dreary…_

 

The rustle and snap of an angry newspaper.

 

_…as Sherlock pondered weak and weary, rapidly thinking in his noggin…_

 

“John, have you completely lost your mind? Now you are plagiarizing a well known author!”

 

“Yes, but I thought it could be interesting to do it in the style of Edgar Allen Poe. Did you know that he is considered one of the fathers of the early detective story?”

 

Painful silence.

 

Malcontent noises from the keyboard.

 

_It was the best of times, it was the worst of time…_

 

“No!”

 

_It was a dark and stormy night, when suddenly…_

 

“No!!”

 

More feverish typing.

 

_In writing down my thoughts and recording them on this blog from time to time some of the unusual and fascinating remembrances which I relate with my extensive and intimate friendship with Mr. Sherlock Holmes…_

 

Silence

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Maybe?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Pause

 

“But John…?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Take out the word ‘intimate’. People might talk.”

 

The doctor’s grin was almost audible.

 

“People do little else, Sherlock.”

**Author's Note:**

> John’s ‘acceptable’ blog opening is taken and reworked from the opening paragraph of The Devil’s Foot by the remarkable and talented ACD. Thanks for the use of your words & thanks for the use of your remarkable characters


End file.
